If you've been reading this blog since I started it on January 1, you'll notice that there are several themes that keep appearing throughout most of my writings (and most of LD's and to some extent Kate's as well). At some point, I had been planning to write my conclusion to everything I presented in one post. The problem, of course, is that once I write the post, then there's no more suspense. Eek yesterday, however, posted a comment that I can't ignore, which basically demands the reason for what I'm writing here.
You might not be surprised with the point I'm trying to make. But you'll probably be surprised as to how I suggest it be made. I'm usually not one to go on about things without posing a solution, and Eek apparently is even more hasty than I am.
So what is the problem I see here? While I wish it were easy to sum everything up into one neat, overlying problem, it's not that simple. There are many problems.
For one, there's a definite lack of respect in dating nowadays. People don't even care about their partners enough to treat them as they deserve to be treated. Gossip, ridiculously high expectations, and rejections by ignorance are only some of the examples in this area. Grandparents are always carrying on about how today's generation has such a lack of respect. They talk about how, in their day, people cared about others and banded together through difficult problems. Why do they talk about these things?
Because they're right! Through every activity in which I've been involved during college, I've encountered this problem. I'm tired of working for a hundred hours on a video project when the president of the organization receives but doesn't bother to even reply to your E-Mails asking him to review it. I'm sick of being ostracized from groups because I don't care to participate in their petty disagreements. And I'm exhausted after people expect me to work to death in
volunteer organizations!
There are always exceptions to this rule, and I'm sure that there are many people who do have a great deal of respect for both their peers and their elders. Unfortunately, the majority, or at least the majority with the most influence, simply don't care.
Second, nobody is honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Dating has turned into a torrent of backstabbing of which even Mark Burnett would be proud. Asking someone out is nearly impossible, because the gossip about it has already spread to a thousand people before you make the move. Then, when a rejection occurs (even if it's not rude), the rejector spreads rumors around to all his/her friends that cause them to completely ignore you, refusing to invite you to parties or even to initiate conversations with you. The biggest insult is that even if you asked point-blank, you'd still never get a truthful answer as to why such harm was directed towards you.
As if what occurs after a rejection isn't enough, people attempt to steal others' girl/boyfriends. One day, things are going well, and the next you find yourself wondering what happened to the relationship that was forming - that is, until you notice that person spending a lot of time with who you thought was your best friend. No explanation is offered, not even a "good-bye."
Third, people are
not looking for someone who spends his or her time working to get ahead instead of getting flat-out drunk, who doesn't curse at or ignore his or her mate, and who actually makes time for whatever is occurring between them (whether it be a full-fledged relationship or just plain sex). They say they're looking for these things, but in reality, they're attracted to people with the attributes described above. "Confidence" is
not the answer to the equation. Assuming they both possess the same level of "confidence," the above-described person would win every time over the "warm, caring, and intelligent" (wo)man that people claim is the ideal mate.
The list of problems goes on. You might be intrigued to hear that while the problems seem innumerable, I propose they can all be rectified with the simplest of solutions. There's no danger involved, nobody has to lead radical changes, and it doesn't involve an "impossible" fight against biology.
I simply propose for men to stop asking women out.
Not for the rest of your life, but for just a short time, say, a month. It's not impossible, and you won't have to do it as much after the month passes. Despite all the respect I have for Kate (who is an exception), the vast majority of women don't ask out men 50% of the time. Women
do have the advantage in dating, and it's time to level the playing field. Sure, talk with women as friends, and if someone initiates a conversation with you, then definitely reciprocate. Let the woman ask
you out if she's interested, no matter how attractive she is to you.
Some women have never asked anyone out in their lives. It's no wonder why these women continually treat men like they're lower beings. If they had to put up with the rejections that most men do all the time, I
guarantee that they would have more respect for men. Women would no longer put up with moving from guy to guy based on who was interested in her at the moment. And spreading gossip about potential romantic interests certainly isn't going to help one's prospects.
People need to realize that humans, for all their ancestry, are not monkeys or horses or rabbits. They're humans, who can think and act for themselves.
Men have so much more capacity in the dating arena than constantly looking for sex at all costs, if they would only exercise it. It's time to stop being prisoners to so-called "biology." Women have the same urges men do, and they should do half the work, not 10% or 20%. The seduction community can criticize me all they want, because they're only exacerbating the problem. I don't know of any similar organization for women that teaches how to seduce men with the same fervor.
There's my proposal. I don't think it's hard to implement. Imagine if all the men even at one college decided to band together. For the lazy people out there, you don't even have to do anything. It's time to change our distorted culture. All I'm suggesting is to promote equality. Is that such a bad thing?
And so, in rather an anticlimax to my several months of posting here on Games are For Children, I ended up being asked out by a girl, namely Ally. What's even more surprising, I actually said 'yes'. As you may know I never liked Ally all that much, she
Tracked: Jul 10, 17:56