Why does this blog exist, you ask? There are a million blogs about dating and relationships out there on the Internet. Most of these logs are created by lonely individuals who are too shy to approach men or women. They chronicle his or her journey from sufferer of social anxiety to the life of the party, and everything in between. Well, most don't go
that far, because in most cases as soon as the shyness is overcome, the writer falls in love and the blog is closed down and abandoned, since there isn't anything to talk about anymore.
My problem with dating is very different than these issues. While in high school, I used to be shy, through hard work I came out of that hole years ago (and if you're shy, you can too, but there are other blogs for that). Instead, I have a problem with the entire concept. The premise seems great - at a basic level, it's simply two people enjoying each other's company (let's not get into the biological issues here). Unfortunately, there's so many overtones to the entire process that this basic premise is lost most, if not all, of the time.
Many times, the real experience of dating is simply a big game, and games are for children. Asking someone out is one of the hardest things to do in life, but many times the recipient responds rudely, if at all, ignoring the courage and thought required to actually ask. Other times, after a few dates, a partner simply disappears off the face of the planet, never to be seen or heard from again. Of course, let's not forget cheating in its various forms.
The game is laughable at times, resembling a B-rated spy movie. Look at any dating site on the Internet, and most will tell you that "confidence" is the first attribute required for success. The description of a confident individual is usually someone who approaches people without hesitation, who knows exactly what to do and when to do it, and who is always unavailable. How many people do you know who fit this description? Nobody, I would venture. Everyone has the same fears and uneasiness to some extent, so anyone who tells you that he/she is completely at ease is lying.
What ever happened to simply telling the truth? It's not that hard a concept. Why do we accept that what I described above is simply "part of the game" and put up with all the scheming and backbreaking? How difficult is it to spend ten seconds to reply to a phone call or E-Mail?
The purpose of this blog is to implore you
not to accept this twisted reality. There
are people out there who know simple etiquitte, and it's not worth wasting your time on the myriad of losers just because you always need to be with someone. You have feelings, too, and you're just as good as anyone else. Anybody who says otherwise should be ignored. If enough people take a stand against such behavior, integrity will be the norm, not game-playing.
I have no illusions of changing the world. However, you can start by changing yourself. If you don't reduce yourself to this childish level, you're making a statement that you won't tolerate anyone who tries to take advantage of you, and your life and relationships will improve as a result. Hey, at the very least, you'll probably live a few months longer because you don't have to deal with all this stress.
Stand up for yourself! This blog, with the help of your comments, will explore just how to do that and end the big "game" once and for all.
