The seduction community frequently simplifies the concepts taught by many of its members into one- or two-word slang terms. There's a lot of this slang floating around in books and Internet forums; the
site lists a dictionary of hundreds of such terms. Since most of the discussion on the forums frequently refers to the same concepts, it's helpful to have a sort of dictionary to reduce the number of words in posts.
However, there's a funny thing about slang: it becomes so commonplace that it loses its meaning and, for lack of a better word, intensity. For example, the word "kino" is thrown around the forums as if it's just another step in a process. But when you look at how people are acutally using the term, we find that "kino" can mean anything from holding hands to foreplay. Certainly, the term fails to accurately convey the emotion behind the latter. One could argue that it fails to convey even the former.
So it is with another term, "social proof." Social proof is basically a synonym for being "popular;" if a lot of other people like me, you will probably like me too. It's a concept that I believe is a poor judge of character, because there are a lot of jerks who make more and more friends simply because they already have a lot of friends. Regardless of my opinion, however, the concept does exist, and I encountered a powerful demonstration on Friday, June 16.
In a comment I made to "Let's Hook Karen Up!" on June 20, I stated that I was very busy the previous weekend. The hectic weekend was a result of some friends visiting from out-of-state for a friend's graduation party. I went to high school with one of the people who visited, and didn't see much of her for five years afterward; yet recently we have visited each other about every six months, on average. The visit lasted from Thursday until Sunday, with the party itself on Saturday.
On Friday, this visitor went to a mall with a friend who still lived near the high school. Afterwards, we were trying to figure out what to do. I had made a list of things that would be interesting to do, but the two women had already done all of those things during the previous two days. We settled for dinner and a movie, which ended up being Mission: Impossible III.
I had eaten at the restaurant we chose many times before. The waiting staff at the restaurant is overwhelmingly female, and most of the employees were between the ages of 20 and 30. Many of the times I was there before, it had been with my family. On a Friday in April, I had eaten with my parents at this restaurant, while on June 16, I went with the girl from out-of-town and her friend. Thus, the only difference between the April night and the night of June 16 was the company I was with.
While I may not be as refined as some when it comes to dealing with women, I do have some ability to tell when people are somewhat interested, and conversely when they believe you are the least attractive person they have ever seen. During neither trip did I have any intention of approaching any of the employees. Returning the favor, during the dinner with my parents, the employees couldn't have cared less about me. Noticing this, I tried maintaining eye contact with the hostess and the waitresses, but they didn't even look at me in the first place! In both cases I gave them our names for reservations, but when I was with my parents, the girl barely even looked up off the page she was writing.
When I went to dinner with the two woman friends, though, things were completely different. When I walked up to the hostess to put in our names, she looked up and greeted me with a big smile. When we were at a bench near the window waiting to be seated, I noticed a group of nearby guests looking over. When our name was called and we went to sit down, a few heads actually
turned as we walked past a group of waitresses. And while it may sound as if I'm joking or exaggerating, I am dead serious about this last comment - it could not have been more obvious. Again and again, even after we reached the theatre, the reaction I received from people was consistently more positive than that which would have been received had I been there alone.
We've had people state before on this very blog that you're most attractive when you're with someone else. However, I don't think anyone hit upon how
powerful this truth is. It's not just that one person might be friendlier to you, but that people actually watch you and look at you with "approval." It doesn't just relate to attraction but also to how politely and mannered people treat others.
"Social proof" is an extraordinarily powerful concept that is simply not adequately described in the term. And while I might not take advantage of much of what the seduction community teaches, they do have a way with slang.
The seduction community frequently simplifies the concepts taught by many of its members into one- or two-word slang terms. There's a lot of this slang floating around in books and Internet forums; the 
